Self confidence is something we all desire to feel yet it can be elusive and open to conjecture. We crave self-confidence because it makes life easier, it gives us energy, we exude attractiveness when we have it and it makes us feel good. In the dictionary 'confidence' is described as 'firm trust, confidence in one's self or ones chances, enterprising temper, freedom from apprehension, assurance of manner.' Yet, it is possible for some to appear confident without actually feeling it.
So what is self- confidence? The following may give you an idea:
- An innate quality of certainty
- A passion for what you are doing
- Inner security
- Self value
- An expression of natural gifts
- Faith in your abilities
- Knowledge about what you are doing or speaking about
- Experience
- Self belief
- Assurance
- Freedom from doubt
If this represents self-confidence, what is confidence not?
It is not:
- Acting as if you are better than others or feeling it!
- False bravado - it is a natural feeling as an outcome of something about you
- About stepping on others toes or making them feel less so you can feel more
- Based on ego
- Boastful
- Needing you to push others out of your way to get what you want or being overly competitive
- Arrogance
Self-confidence is an inner feeling of certainty about who you are, what you do and what you have to offer the world. If you want to create your dreams you need self-confidence. Self-confidence helps you to feel naturally attractive. It gives you a more positive and optimistic outlook on life. It has an innate charm and power and allows you to feel a sense of self-reliance. In order to feel more confident you need to have a strong and consuming desire for something and clarity and focus about what it is you wish to achieve. Your belief system has to help you to feel confident so changing your beliefs can transform your levels of self confidence.
In order to change beliefs that limit your level of confidence you need to look at what has undermined it. This can be several things:
- Teachers or parents telling you that you could not do something or were stupid
- Criticism from parents (or other authority figures)
- Being constantly disappointed
- Rejection or disapproval
- Lack of money
- Illness or stress
- Fear
- Feeling that no matter how hard you try you can't achieve something
- Continuous self criticism or judgement
- Comparing yourself to others
- Guilt or self sabotage
- A sense of failure
As an exercise think of 5 things that you would like to have or achieve in your life right now. Now consider what has prevented this so far - what has got in your way or prevented you from succeeding up to now? Take a look at the above list to give you some clues. Some areas will stand out for you.
Next, take 2 of the things you have listed and consider two ways you could accomplish them if you possessed the self confidence. Does this help you feel that you'd not only like self-confidence but that you could create it for yourself? What areas of your life would you like to feel more self-confidence? This could be in your relationships, your career, your finances, your home, self-development and spirituality, with your partner or perhaps health and well-being. There aren't really any areas of our life where we don't need to feel self-confident.
Life coaching can support you to find ways to plan and achieve your goals. It helps you to improve on your sense of confidence so that you feel more prepared and ready to fulfill them. It also facilitates you in eliminating negative thinking and deeply engrained patterns that hold you back. It is future focused so though it helps you to find why you have certain beliefs, it's main priority is to assist you in overcoming them. Life coaching supports you in becoming the best that you can be and assists you in getting on track, identifying what you want in life and going for it!
If you would like to take the Free Confidence Test to assess your level of confidence now please email me with your name requesting the test. It comes complete with tips and techniques to improve your self-confidence. You may also contact me for details of a half price coaching session to find out if you can benefit and improve your confidence through life coaching.
Within each of us is a seed of inspiration - that spark that can lead to a brilliant idea, creative project or new exciting proposition. It is often hidden beneath our everyday busy routine lives and never given the light of day to grow, or buried beneath layers of self-doubt, lack of confidence and fear. With encouragement it is possible to find this seed and give it the time and attention it needs to grow something beautiful, fruitful, worthwhile and significant in your life.
It is not possible to create from a place of avoidance of pain, for example moving away from a sense of lack or loneliness. To aim for something because of a desire to escape pain creates resistance and limitation rather than acceptance and expansion. It can sometimes be the catalyst for transformation, but to desire something that comes as an impulse, a passion, an excitement brings a sense of possibility and opens the way to potentiality. This potentiality grows into opportunities that fluidly present themselves. The motivation then comes from an inner spirit rather than an outer demand.
From my own passion for helping people to find this inner spark and grow it in the world, I am setting up a Women's Support Group in Totnes, Devon. This group will meet every fortnight to support one another to create what we wish for in life. We will use different techniques and individual and group exercises to identify inherent gifts and talents and strengthen and ground purpose and potential.
The aim of the group will be to:
- Move beyond limiting beliefs and patterns that keep us entrained with lack or struggle.
- Remove blocks that sabotage our success.
- Change the way we think so we are consciously focusing on what it is we wish to create.
- Create effective ways of taking steps towards our dreams.
- Change 'failure' into 'experience' and learn and move on.
- Expand our view of life and tap into inner guidance to support our new vision for 2016.
- See each persons desires as real for them.
- Use visualisations and meditations to support our new creations.
I am particularly drawn to working with women at this time as I feel that women's innate gifts are especially needed in our world. If you are drawn to take part in this ongoing group take a look at the 'Events' section on the right of this page and register your interest or phone me for a chat on 01647 441235.
Katheryn Hope
